A while back I read a piece – at least I think I read it. At this point media intake gets so jumbled that I can’t remember if I read something in a book, saw it on TV, heard it on a Podcast, or saw it as part of a 30-second blurb on Insta. My attention span has dwindled to seconds, and I click on things that I don’t really care about.
Whatever.
Somehow this got stuck in my brain from whatever source I was ingesting: “I used to be a prepper. Now I’m old enough that when the nukes start to fall, I’m just going to walk toward the nearest mushroom cloud. My partner and I no longer want to live in a post-Apocalyptic world.”
Huh. Do I? Is a life without Tik Tok worth living? Can I survive never knowing how Murderbot ends?
Maybe.
In the interim, I’ve been considering various flavors of apocalypses. Here are some thoughts regarding what I might do if they hit:
Econopocalypse (The US defaults on all debt. Social Security, Medicare, and Welfare collapse. Inflation hits 1000%. Global economies collapse. Billions die. Preppers and farmers survive longest.) – I’ll stick around for this one, turn my neighborhood into a compound, raid the garden store, and plant potatoes.
Nuclear Holocaust (Everyone that has nukes uses them on each other). Game over. I’m in Houston and we’re bound to be targeted by someone who hates the Astros.
Eschatologicapocalypse (The end times. The Rapture. Ragnarök. Armageddon. God takes who he/she wants and smites the rest.) I’m hoping I end up in The Happy Place. If not, I’ll look at what form the smiting takes and go from there.
Epocellipsis (We misheard, and the collapse is simply the inability to use an ellipsis in texts. The world no longer waits for replies.) I’ll probably ride this one out unless…
The Singularity (Either Skynet takes over or we all become digital). I’d go for the upload but have no desire to live in a bunker fighting Terminators and hoping John Connor shows up.
Zombie Apocalypse (No explanation needed.) I’m all in, if for no other reason than to prove how much smarter I am than those idiots on The Walking Dead.
Global Warming/Volcanic Winter – I don’t mind the cold but would seek higher ground if it warms up too much.
SuperPandemic – I’ll stick around just to see how we react this time.
Bug Eyed Monsters Attack – I’m in. Somewhere there’s an F-16 waiting to take me to the fight. “Welcome to Earth.”
Ennuipocalypse (The world ends while you’re stuck in some tedious waiting situation such as the DMV line or Dentist office) – How would you ever know? This is my personal Hell Loop and why I fight to avoid these environments.
Most of these depend on the family and friend situation. If they’re around, I’ll fight to protect them – unless it’s the DMV one, then they’re on their own.